I was so annoyed

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I was so annoyed
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Something a little bit different.  I dont know if you will like it or agree with it but i just needed to rant and whats the point of ranting to yourself.  Thought id put it in the form of an article for some reason.  If you want to use it in the bulletin or whatever please do.  If not, i feel a bit better anyway.


I went to church the other day.


I had to.


I have always been able to accept funerals and weddings.  Ceremonies to celebrate events seem a sensible custom.  We need them just like we need a Christmas or Eid or whatever to let of steam and celebrate something, anything.  Social customs like this make sense.   Anyway I can stand church ceremonies when I need to.  I don’t pray, why should I pray to anything.  I do sing however, somehow it seems less helpful than not singing given my voice.  That’s my approach anyway and I cope.


I went to church the other day to pay respects to a relative  I knew it would be a long service with much  sorrow and tears.  Family paying respects for a death from a terrible illness.


What I didn’t expect was to find a preacher in front of me of fire and brimstone type  He didn’t want to support the family or alleviate their sorrows.  He wanted , well I’m not sure what he wanted.   What he did was bellow at me about the benefits of death as a Christian for crying out loud!! Apparently it’s a good thing!!   Death as a christian means leaving the evil of the flesh behind and arriving in a world without sin.  I can’t remember the other benefits. - I kept trying to listen to more but the louder he shouted the less I heard.  I was stuck on the bile he spewed about the evil all around us – he didn’t mean childrens’ deaths in Syria, or bombs in Hiroshima , he meant almost  everybody everyday everywhere.  I sat there thinking he’d see me as evil.  His god should have been able to strike me down if it really could hear my thoughts.   Shut the fuck up! Should I leave? Somebody give me a gun! I can distinctly remember thinking, don’t u dare come near me when I leave,.  All those fantasies that don’t really mean anything because you cant put them in practice. 


It was a funeral and paying respects was the reason to be there, to stay there.    I know how to behave, I know what’s important; this dreadful man who sees evil in life and sin in people, he hates real people and insults their behaviour and thoughts, he insults everything about their lives.   He thunders at everyone and ends up hating the real world and real people and distrusts everything they stand for.  For him, death as aa christian is the best thing that can happen in life!!


Come on you awful man.!!!  How can you mislead and brutalise people like this.  Look around you at what humanity has built and how far it has come.   Look at how hard real people have laboured and fought and quarrelled and loved and cooperated to achieve.  Look at  the paintings, the books and the ideas that living people has strained to produce. Look at the wonders of  medicine, transport, the internet, and the materials we use nowadays .   Look at the buildings and the cities: look at the supply of electricity and water and telephone systems;  look at what it takes to put food in the shops.  You despise everything humanity does to strive for improvements.   


I believe in humanity and what it is capable of achieving.  I believe in the workers and what they can build.  Yes that means conflict and revolution.  But this hateful man talks about love and eternal peace but only when we are dead and have  left behind all that we have and we are.  Its people that are the real world and we have to take what comes and build for the future   You hate that and you hate people you try to shepherd around!


Do you know what happened at the end of the service!   The bastard came past me as I waiting near the coffin and he shook my hand and I had to stand there and take it.  I couldn’t get out of it because of respect to the real people that he hates, I had no choice!  That’s me trying to cope again.  

Link, condolences on the loss

Link, condolences on the loss of someone close to you.

On the issue of what counts as evil: I was channel surfing the other day, attempting to retreat from the world for a few hours. I happened to notice the proliferation of programs about the paranormal, hauntings and demonic possesion that dominate the channel line-up. One show was about the the supposed "true story" behind the 1973 movie "The Exorcist," which was reckoned by many to be the scariest movie ever made. It got me thinking about why there are so many shows about this kind of thing right now. Thinking that The Exorcist film might have been the start of all this, I decided to look into it a little. Sure enough, there are a number of criticisms of the movie that see it as a full fledged revolt againt the The Enlightenment, a kind of counter-revolution against the social turmoil of the preceding decade. The real villians of the movie are the secular doctors who just can't appreciate the existence of true "evil." When the demon speaks, it identifies evil with sin (mostly sexual), while it never mentions anything like poverty, exploitation, the destruction of the environment or human alienation from nature. As Link's experience shows, for this counter-revolution, the flesh is so profane, it is better not to experience it at all. The idea of re-uniting the corporeal with the "spiritual" in a tangible way is never countenanced. Only in the lofty realm of the after life is this possible.

Painful paradox

For Link

Your honest expression of such a deeply affective personal event deserves at least an attempt at an honest reply. I hope I am not treading clumsily.

The first funeral I attended 26 years ago was my wife's at the age of 36. Two memories still stand out : the first was such disbelief that I wanted to crowbar the coffin open to make sure: the second was that all the deeply bereaved colleagues from her workplace, suppressing their tears 'had to leave now' to go back to work... Wage slavery castrated their human need to grieve.

But it was not then that the wrenching contradiction you describe happened. Living far away amid the Cornish Lumpens, I met a real best friend, the wife of a 'cradle Catholic' one of the 'economically poorest' yet richest people I've met.

Fighting all instincts, I went to Catholic Mass for 2 years: I suppose I was thinking : how can I assess the reality of something on the basis of The Daily Mail's opinion of it. The priest was a real oddity thrown up by the contradictions of 'Monk'/Priest' : without boring digression suffice it to say that he neatly side-stepped the beaurocratic vacuity of modern Catholic hierarchy by being a maverick remnant. His less than two minute sermons always contained some unexpected angle.

One Christmas, however, (far less wrenching than your tribulation) he said :'if you don't believe that Mary was looking down on the face of God, then you don't belong here'

To my credit/eternal damnation I actually voiced from the pews: ' ..ah ...then I don't belong here ,,,cheerio' and left - silly token gesture I know but I had the luxury of expressing it which you were denied.




thanks comrades

Thanks for your posts comrades.  Interesting viewpoints and experiences.  To be honest, im jealous of AS being able to make a 'silly token gesture' - it seems to me such things can make you feel better about yourself