Big Brother Cameron has got his eye on us all. He's concerned for our health. He's specially concerned for those of us who are overweight. If we don't do something about it and get our bellies down to normal size he's going to cut our free treatment for the illnesses that go with the condition of being too fat and also the benefits we get for being unable to work because of it. He says it isn't a shortage of jobs that render people unemployed but their poor health most of which is their own fault. So there! Its all down to shirkers again. We're a nation of overweight shirkers, stuffing ourselves on the fat of the land - truffles, pate de foie gras, Beaujolais and pheasant - just to avoid work. And even worse, we put the economy in jeopardy by stretching the fabulously free - never forget that, although it isn't even true - National Health Service, the eighth wonder of the world, to breaking point with our selfish and unnecessary demands for its services.
Anyway. This has all got to stop. It's for our own good. To prove the point the PM was shown in his running shorts, avoiding collisions as he galloped along some busy street, and sweated it off. The fat that is, and gruesome thoughts of the upcoming election.
The economy is thriving the PM insists, and you've probably noticed the improvements yourself. The general air of happiness and fulfillment that embraces the nation. For the UK is number one in Europe in the provision of appallingy underpaid and mind-numbing jobs for all those who are fit and healthy enough and prepared to survive the crippling boredom that goes with them. Many find they cant take it anymore though, and just give up. You can either take to over-eating eating on cheap and lousy diets as a source of consolation for the humiliation and depression that goes with being superfluous to the capitalist work force and out of work or at best "precarious". Or, being unable to survive it's pointless nihilistic demands that go under the heading of employment, embark on the road to strange and creeping illnesses and slow unacknowledged self-destruction. This is the state of the nation. This is the state of the planet. Take a look!
That any thoughtful person would wish to perpetuate the senseless unnecessary miseries of existence that pertain under what capitalism calls life today is mind boggling. There are no advantages left in its perpetuation at all. Except for a very few. That billions of us have to undergo a repetitive daily agony of life, a negation of life, merely to sustain capitalism and its few beneficiaries - who aren't necessarily the happy-go-lucky darlings we imagine them to be with their truffles, pate de foie gras, fine wines and armed guards to protect them and their stolen riches - never ceases to astound. For how much longer will this drag on?
If binge-eating, drug taking, no money, drinking and what passes for sex, or just plain isolation and loneliness, don't finish you off, then there's always the international religious fanatics who might, or our glorious world wide unscrupulous leaders like Obama, Putin, Merkel and the rest, who are fully prepared and willing and able to do the job instead. They're only waiting for the right moment. They're only waiting for their next essential holocaust to start.